Hi, you're probably here by mistake

That's okay, it's a vast, confusing Internet. You and I... well, we're just little data clots in that big series of tubes, right? Maybe you've seen me around and wanted to know more. Actually, that's kind of creepy. Maybe you found your way here blindly searching for high-quality web content. Actually, that would be incredibly disappointing, for both of us.

Maybe you should just leave.

No, wait! Come back - I was just joking. Read my stuff first. Then leave.

My skills

• Yelling at Trees (includes tiny bonsai trees)
• Being Handsome (hello ladies)
• Starting Fires (with and without gasoline)
• Scoring 80 Percent (4 out of 5 statistics agree)
• Wearing Pants (on legs, mostly)